Rikke and I paid good money to see Land of the Dead yesterday. What a pile of steaming goat dung. Suspending disbelief, yes. Suspending all sense of logic, no. Surprisingly the reviews have been fairly kind to it, which I just don’t get. So I went to IMDB and checked out what the geeks had to say, which by and large was as pointless as the movie itself.
Listen up IMDB nerds: There is no scathing social commentary in LotD, which hasn’t already been seen several times over in Romero’s own movies! Furthermore, the characters are painfully shallow, to the point of being little better than cardboard cutouts. Zombies that communicate, have a leader and use guns?… I want to strangle someone.
From where I’m standing zombies are a plague. Entirely indifferent. They’re not a fucking army, and they sure as fuck don’t have motives. It’s just not interesting at all to see zombies thinking, in the same way that it’s uninteresting to see the aliens in Alien Resurrection ‘thinking’. That’s not what makes them scary. That’s not what makes them interesting.
That’s one thing, a personal preference if you will. Another thing entirely is this: The world is fucked, the dead are alive, and we’re fucked. We barricade ourselves in a city; makes sense. Now what’s easier, building a vehicle (which ‘costs’ two million dollars) called Dead Reckoning, or… Driving to the nearest military base and take a couple of APC’s?
Gosh, you know, I think… hmmm, let me think about this… Yeah, I’ll go with the APC’s. That way I have impregnable vehicles built for combat, capable of carrying people and supplies in an efficient manner, and I have spare parts and manuals for repairing them, should they break.
Furthermore, I’ll be using an old-school paper map and compass to navigate, not a stinking cyber-computer firing solution thingie. And that’s not even mentioning the ‘remote control’ used to turn off the missile tubes… WHAT!? That’s stupid. Alright? Stupid!
And my God man, money? Money has no value. If the world ends tomorrow, do you think anyone will accept money as a currency? Hell fucking no.
Food, shelter, medical supplies and security. These are the things people need. Whoever has these things is in control. Now LotD neglected to tell us how Kaufmann remained in control, but as far as I could see, he had no leverage at all, no loyalists, no nothing.
The zombies themselves sucked, in my opinion, ass. I rewatched Shaun of the Dead tonight, and if you want great zombies, you’d be better off watching it instead.
So enough of that, I could go on for hours.
Which reminds me, another thing which can and does go on for hours, is Alien 3000, a movie Rasmus my neighbor, and I fast forwarded our way through after Shaun of the Dead. All that needs to be said about it, is summed up nicely in this thread on IMDB, where investors are trying to figure out how to contact the production company to find out what happened to their money… I wonder the same thing.
The movie did indeed suck. A B-movie at best. A waste of money.
So Micheal, tell us how you really feel.
This is why I stay away from most zombie movies. They are too easy to screw up.
Just a shame. And I have never heard of Alien 3000… might need to look that one up.
I agree, the zombies were lame.
To save you more money, stay away from Skeleton Key… Pile of rubbish
Shaun of the Dead rules the zombie world.
The only problem with parodies, though, is after you watch one that satirizes a genre, you can’t enjoy that genre in the same way. It’s like watching teen slasher flicks after you see Scream.
^ I really like Shaun of the Dead. Everything else I’ve watched sucked… Zombie movies suck period. I haven’t watched one since 28 days later…
I guess little kids that like blood and guts will think this movie was really swell.
Totally offtopic – I saw Batman the Beginning yesterday and I must say, I’m pretty impressed. I really encourage you to see that one – You will be not dissapointed.
Michael: I told you so. Maybe next time you’ll listen?
Favorite quote from Land of the Dead: ‘Let them go. They’re just trying to find a place to stay’
… WHAT?
Oh, the zombies? Nah, they’re just trying to fit in. But they keep getting shot, while on the phone or feasting on the flesh of the living. Kinda unfair if you ask me. I have a zombie neighbour. They’re really not that bad once you get to know them.
Romero should be shot. But then again, I don’t find crafty talkative zombies or painfully infatile attempts at social commentary very interesting. Why won’t these film makers quit while they’re winning?!
Yeah, Shaun of the Dead rocks \m/
and 28 Days Later isnt bad, I just found the end rather disappointing.
As for Land of the Dead, well I never heard of it and I guess now Ill wait until its out on TV to watch it.
The first half of 28 Days Later is pretty nice, but I hated the last half.
it does tumble from pretty good thriller into run-of-the-mill zombie-fest about halfway through.
Another one is Jeepers Creepers. I really liked the first 20 – 30 minutes of that, then you meet the demon-zombie-flesh-devil-thing and its all backflips into a big pile of turds from then on in.
Oh dear God. I had forgotten all about Jeepers Creepers… That movie was baaad.
Well in my defence, I never watched Jeepers Creepers 2, but then neither have i watched Blair Witch 2, yet I have watched Cube 2 but not Cube 3 .. what this tells you I dont know, it could simply be irrelevant.
LOL I’m completely unable to imagine how bad it can be. Sounds like I need to see it, perhaps in Cinemaxx on a weekday+student+noon super-duper discount scheme. You got me intrigued with that Dead Reckoning vehicle.
Btw. “payed” should be “paid”…
I thought something was wrong; no kidding. Fixed…
how was it compared to 28 days later or the original night of the living dead (1969)?
Bad :)
The Original Night of the Living Dead scared the BeJeZZus out of me, but this Land of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and other zombie movies are shitty in comparison.
I agree with the rest of you. The first part of 28 days later was pretty good, the rest of it was garbage.
I was hardly entertained by it, and that zombie leader was an offence to my intelligence. But the Romero fans are abound and wouldn’t let the filme receive too many harsh critics on the grounds of nostalgia, perhaps…
yerterday i saw the fantastic 4…one more bad movie about a great comic. really harm…
I’m not the type to point fingers but consider this (just to mention it I have’nt seen Land Of The Dead). But a large powerfull army consisting of braindead zombies with a braindead leader. It’s not to point fingers…buttttt *cough*bush*cough
Zombie movies, puh… no… zombie comics is the way to go.
Robert Kirkman’s Walking Dead series is the best zombie comic out there and in my view one of the best comics overall that you can get your hands on at the moment.
So Michael, walk the five steps down to Fantask after work today and pick up Vol. 1 of Walking Dead, you will not regret it… I promise :)
Simon, I already did :)
> “… I have spare parts and manuals for repairing them, should they brake.”
Eek! How bad is the military funded in Denmark? I mean if an APC breaks everytime you brake, I’d seriously question its usefulness in running from/over Zombies. ;)