So to kick off our two week vacation (in which I’m doing nada, but for a single night with Metallica and some days back in Jutland), we went to see Transformers, more than a little worried that it would suck as much as it was hyped.
But you know what? It didn’t! In fact, it was fucking! AWESOME!
Mild spoilers!
In fact, aside from a sub-par generic Michael Bay score, a slightly slow middle-section with a stupid ‘let’s go to the dusty old room’ part, action cinematography that was often too ‘smart’ and up-close for its own good as well as clammy Michael Bay touches, like slutty bimbo’s (I swear, not a single ‘nice girl’ in sight) and some serious military masturbation, it was spot on!
Really.
Well done Michael Bay! One part E.T. (boy meets alien, befriends alien, tries to hide alien from parents), one part Independence Day (Nellis airforce base. We’ve lost communication to the alien enemy, let’s use morse code! Soldiers and government ministers are involved!) and one part Turtles… Yeah; Turtles. Weird, right? Well, I guess the popular version of the Turtles owe back to the original Transformers, so…
Either way, it had me from start to finish, even so much so I was willing to ignore out of the blue nonsense, like: “We must protect the cube! Take it to the city!”… Yes, where all the people, whom the Autobots have sworn to protect, are… Good idea.
But nice performance by Shia, and hey, Megan Fox, who was given the role as bimbo even does a decent job as well (no mean spirit intended; but she is in Bay’s grasp, and he sure does like himself some bimbo’d up chicks).
I will say though, that the soldier and code-breaker subplots are largely irrelevant, and seem to serve only to lengthen the movie to beyond the 105 minutes running length it should’ve had (seeing as how it is really an 80’s movie in disguise… more than meets the eye, if you know what I mean).
So if you can find the child within yourself, ignore the cartoon-like story and enjoy a ‘let’s have us some robot carnage fun!’-film — or if you like moving things that make noise, definitely — go see this flick. It is the summer blockbuster, and I can understand why Die Hard did its very best to open before it, because it will get wasted by it.
AND IT HAS GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS IN IT! AAAAaaaaargh!
I’m easy like that.
Aw man i seriously can’t wait to see this…i’ve waited some 20-odd years so far. I’m gonna have to seriously try and get the 80’s transformers out my head whilst watching this!
Ah i miss the 80’s…but hey i still have my (1980’s pristineasfuckstillintheboxneverbeforeopenedordrooledover) Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Jazz, Rodimus Major, Starscream and Inferno. Life sure is good.
[quote post=“2611”]In fact, it was fucking! AWESOME![/quote]
Hell yeah!
[quote post=“2611”]I’m easy like that.[/quote]
Me too. :D
I love being a big kid!
[quote post=“2611”]i really want to see this movie. sounds good.
do you people have to swear all over this page though???
i my self have a website and its alot of work to mantain and it dosen’t help with people swearing all over it…[/quote]
:-(
After a summer of Godawful to merely so-so “blockbuster” movies, Michael Bay has served up a heaping helping of FUCKING AWESOME.
I loved it, and plan to see it again next weekend.
“I AM MEGATRON”! = Awesome.
And let’s not forget that it’s the awesome Hugo Weaving that’s voice-acting Megatron! IT ROXXORS MY SOCXORS!
I, too, was extremely impressed by it. We seem to have hit on the same snags in the film, though … such as way to fast action scenes (hey guys, you spent months designing the 3D models, let us get decent looks at em, eh?), weird ass subplots … oh yeah, and the military masturbation.
But I am impressed that they didn’t go the “None of our huge ass weapons work against them”-route. Just pick something big and ugly enough, and it’ll still work. Nice touch.
And the carnage … woohoo …
Does anyone else not notice there is absolutely no plot and at the end of the film is descends into farce? I.e. they enter the city in a convoy but all of a sudden they turn up in dribs and drabs as the movie dictates. I liked them as a kid too but seriously this film could be half he length and not lost anything.
Giant robots fighting were really cool but a lot of so-up-close-you-cant-tell-wtf is-going-on shots spoiled it for me
I wonder if I enjoyed this movie so much because all of the previous summer blockbusters I was looking forward to turned out to be as entertaining as an Autobot fist to the testicles. A lot of people seem to be using the “IT’S GOT GIANT ROBOTS OMFG PLOT DOESN’T MATTER” argument, which has its merits, but I think for the most part I’m willing to overlook the movie’s faults (see Michael’s assessment) simply because I wasn’t expecting much out of it to begin with (unlike, say, Spider-man 3, which might be a better movie, but because it paled so much in comparison to it’s predecessors, I can’t respect it at all). Also, Transformers was surprisingly funny — a plus in my book.
It had a good mixture of humor, drama, action, and things that go boom.
Plus they had giant robots. o-0
What more could a girl want?
ps: Loved the “as entertaining as an Autobot fist to the testicles” line. I think I’m gonna start using that.
VERY FUCKING AWESOME!! one thing i was worried about was that i thought they werent going to do the sound (when they transform) like in the old cartoons. but they did it! and it made me happy _
It’s funny how you can get Heilemann to suddenly like everything that Michael Bay always does (he is re-using all effects and tricks from his last 2 – 3 movies, not that it’s a bad thing!) by just adding big transforming robots. Hmmm, wait a minute, that actually makes sense. :)
I enjoyed it for the same reasons as you, Michael, and I too noticed the very sub-par score. In fact I think the music was one of the weakest points of the movie.
I enjoyed transformers. I had never watched the cartoons all but once, the ones back in 03 – 04 on cartoon network. Those were really corny and i never was able to actually sit and watch them. But now that this movie was released i love it alot more! I got the optimus prime helmet w/ the voice changer and i wore it to the movies when i saw it again. Transformers was easily the best movie of the summer, sure as hell beat spiderman 3. Also this was Michael Bays best film by far.
Yeah, Transformers is right up there with The Rock. I’m not sure if it’s better, but it’s certainly up there.
Anybody remember the fake Michael Bay blog that made the rounds a few years ago? The one where he kept referring to himself as “The Bayster”?
the music was definitely weak. i didnt really like a bunch of the subplots, they kind of just left them out there without doing anything. Like the scene with teh hacker guy, that should have either never been in there or should have been tied off; a lot of loose ends in this movie. some of the crude humor wasnt very smooth such as the fact that the kdis mother immediately jumps to the conclusion that hes been jacking off which really means that michael bay was just looking for some crap to throw in. I also did nt like how they never showed whay happened to barricade >-O, hes kinda just left lying in the car garage. i think the boy was pretty weak in how he tried to have an emotional link with the autobots as he refused to let optimus kill himself to save humanity. However, the fight scenes were incredible and really made the movie for me. In some instances where there were too many robots it was hard to tell what the hell was going on. Bay also did an excellent job of introducing the robots and made it clear the difference between the autobots and decepticons. al in all, it was pretty good id say around a B
Transformers rocked when I compare it to the other movie experience this past weekend. Ratailloi with the kids. I managed to escape the next day for Transformers.
if you didn’t like the movie you’re a noob.
Megan Fox and Megatron was the best of it.
By the sounds of things most people really enjoyed the movie. I admit it was quite a good film but the ending sucked and I’m not sure some of the camera angles really did the film any justice. I really wanted to see more of the fighting instead of awkward closeups. I don’t remember there being any decent music in the film, yet they still releases the soundtrack on CD. Madness.
Transformers is right up there with The Rock.
i didnt really like the end, optimus prime barely fought megatron, i was looking forward to a full out war between them