I present to you, the second trailer for Dungeon Siege, the masterful fantasy epic from the hands of Dr. Boll himself. Or ‘the quack surgeon as we like to call him.
I don’t know where to begin. The absolutely craptaculous trailer itself, the pathetic ‘I wanna be Peter Jackson’ of Dr. Boll or a book-long rant on how otherwise fine actors could possibly degrade themselves to such drivel.
What the world needs now is a hero. Someone who can take the offer from Dr. Boll, beat the living snot out of his demented head and take the fall for it. For the good of humanity God dammit! This must end!
wow. that is terrible. before i loaded it i was wondering if uwe was really that bad or if he just couldn’t escape a stereotype.
he’s terrible.
oh, and i could excuse jason statham for the transporter 2, i mean, i laughed the whole movie, it was hilariously bad, but this trailer is just bad. bad jason statham. go to your room.
Craptacular!
Oh dear.
Dr Uwe Boll appears to have proved (again) that his skills as a director are regressing, badly.
How he continues to receive funding for the god-awful crap paraded as ‘cinematography’ I’ll never know.
why why why do decent actors keep getting sucked into this absolute trash?
Burt Reynolds I can understand — the guy’s scrabbling for paychecks, it seems. Matthew Lillard? No need to ask. Jason Statham? Second-rate action star, makes bad choices, of course he’d be in this.
But Ray Liotta? Leelee Sobieski? John Rhys-Davies? Surely Rhys-Davies knew this was an LOTR knockoff, right?
http://www.gamespot.com/news/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=24707327
Check that link. You might consider a trip to the states. Apparently Boll has issued a challenge to his five most avid critics to come and fight him in a boxing ring!
This guy just gets more and more asinine by the minute.
Oh my.
http://www.gamespot.com/news/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=24707327
Check that link. You might consider a trip to the states. Apparently Boll has issued a challenge to his five most avid critics to come and fight him in a boxing ring!
This guy just gets more and more asinine by the minute.
Dude, that story is linked to and talked about in the entry… :|
Man, that’s like…Beastmaster bad. It’s like millions of horrifyingly slapdash Golan-Globus science fantasy crapfests shown at 3:00 AM weeknights on HBO cried out in horror, seeing the übercrapfest rise from the slime.
I’ll be checking this one out in the local Kino, no question.
Crap!
Note to self: open eyes next time – DOH!
Damn, I’m not eligible to fight him, according to his rules. I was starting to get my hopes up.
Checklist for the modern fantasy epic wanna-be:
1. New Zealand mountain panorama. CHECK.
2. WETA special effects. CHECK.
3. Martial arts wire work. CHECK.
4. Endless supply of “one man to save the world” clichés. CHECK.
5. First year movie script writing students. CHECK.
6. Original idea of adapting a computer game to the big screen. CHECK.
7. Purchase second-hand LOTR costumes and props to save money. CHECK.
8. Find a studio with more cash that God and Bill Gates combined looking to throw said cash down the toilet. CHECK.
9. Ego as big as some of the aforementioned mountain vistas. CHECK.
10. A belief that enough 10 and 11 year-old boys will buy enough movie tickets/DVDs/action figurines as well as computer and console games to actually get a cash advance on the sequel. CHECK.
Cool! I see that I’m ready! Time to start slapping a story together and to contact the Screen Actors’ Guild to find their most desperate members who are looking for work.
I’m going to be rich beyond belief…why didn’t I think of this long ago?
Is it possible, that this entire movie is a joke? The trailer, from as far as I can tell, was created in Windows Movie Maker.
I’m a pretty peaceloving guy. I could make a long wellwritten post, about everything thats wrong with Uwe Boll, and everything he makes. Instead I’m just going to make a plead, into the good ol’ “internetnation”. Would’nt someone PLEASE rip off his eyelashes, eyebrows and make an attraption like the one used in “A Clockwork Orange”, to prevent blinking. And just force him to watch his movies in an neverending loop until he begs to be killed…then wait a day or two more. And finally rip off his testicles and beat him to a pulp with them? Please….
And again: normally I’m a peaceloving guy…unfortunately I’ve actually seen some of the crap, and my opinion is in short: Uwe Boll is to movies as Hitler was to world peace and Paris Hilton is to higher education.
Colin: if you think this is a joke, you must have missed House of the Dead :eek:
And to add to Henrik said at the end: Uwe Boll is to movies what Jack Thompson is to videogames ;)
This is from today’s Movie & TV News @ IMDb.com:
German horror director Uwe Boll is so fed up with receiving bad reviews from movie critics he is challenging his detractors to a filmed fight. Boll, whose movies Alone In The Dark and House Of The Dead are based on video games, says he will fly his critics to meet him and will then fight them in a boxing ring. The filmmaker is incensed by an online petition which has 13,327 signatures of people asking him to stop making movies. Boll, who has also invited Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino to join his fight, plans to air the fights on the internet. He the plans to edit clips into his latest film Postal. Boll says, “I’m fed up with people slamming my films without seeing them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it.”
No, actually that’s old hat and IS IN THE ENTRY ITSELF! :|
Oh, yeah, okay, I see that now. Sorry. I’ve personally never seen any of Mr. Boll’s movies, I’m not interested in them, I couldn’t possibly care less if they’re fantastic or god-awful, and I doubt I’ll ever be interested in a movie he makes. I probably wouldn’t even know who he was if it weren’t for you.
Soooo, I saw that on IMDb, recognized the name, came here and searched ‘Uwe Boll,’ and posted it on the most recent post that came up. As your post was eight days old at the time, I guess I was assuming that the news section of IMDb wouldn’t be posting old news as new news.
Well, anyway, sorry again. Feel free to delete.
P.S. I just noticed that I’m the second person on this thread to have done that. D’oh.