Dane. Designer.

Old Blog


Bachelor Weekend Writing

I needed these last 10 days of vacation like Superman needs the sun. You know, that part of life that isn’t work? The part that is relegated to the few hours of your day between waking and leaving for work and coming home and going to sleep?

That’s what we’ve been doing, and it’s been heavenly. Lounging, reading, watching, browsing, shopping, roleplaying, coding, loving and Thinking.

Like putting the brain into sleep mode (with, in the back of your head, the knowledge that it will inevitably be awakened brutally tomorrow morning when Rikke’s cell, with some glee I think, brings us back into worker-ant-mode).

So at the moment I’m looking forward about a week, to April 1st, which aside from being yet again that day a year where the media becomes entirely useless (well… more so) in their attempt at ‘funny’ deceiving pranks, is also the start date for Script Frenzy, which as you may remember, I’m joining this year.

This is me by the way. Add me.

Obviously; the trouble is—as you should have come to expect—I haven’t actually prepared myself to the extend I should have; nor the extent I sorta-kinda-maybe promised myself I would.

After all, by now I should have a fully fledged outline, complete with characters and curves and arcs and… so on. Conventional thinking says that might help me ein bischen with felling down one hundred pages in 30 days. Conventional thinking, in this case, is probably right. Yeah.

But then, you know, life. And between Monolith (which is proceeding steadily, thank you, though I fear it will come to a stand-still as I punish myself towards 100 pages in April) and roleplaying and not doing anything. Well, the days are only so long, and I am so so lazy.

Don’t get me wrong; I do in fact have an idea. Yessireebob. A gen-u-ine idea.

In fact, it’s the idea that wouldn’t die. You know? I keep finding all its flaws. Keep doubting my ability to actually, truly, live up to it; to write it properly, like it deserves. In my head anyway. But despite that, it always creeps back in.

It’s code-named ‘Cheap Cyborg’ by the way. Not that that title is representative of the story any more, but that’s how it started out, and since I haven’t really found a new one yet… Hey, Cheap Cyborg.

Besides, titling a work should be like a coronation, right? “I pronounce you ‘Star Wars’”. The crowd roars. You bathe in money and fame.

Then you wake up.

The history of Cheap Cyborg is long and sordid and absolutely uninteresting until it becomes a bestseller and I bathe in money and fame (and wake up).

But essentially it was pretty much from its birth meant as a comicbook. Yeah, it could be a novel, but I always thought of it as very visual, so… And I’m not convinced that its structure, pacing or subject matter fits a film.


Well, alright, so, some of it is a bit odd. Weird even. It’s Science Fiction, right, so… Well it wouldn’t beat out Pirates at the box office, I don’t think. In fact, it would probably be hailed as a damn mess and a waste of money, I would be called a fraud and a waste of air (Wake up! Wake up!).

The clinch is, for Script Frenzy I always thought I would write a film script, because that’s a format I understand fairly well. And comicbook scripts… Well… There’s no format to stick to. Everyone has their own style and rapport with their artist(s). It’s a mess. And one of those awful liberal ‘artistic interpretation’ messes even!

Thus it came to be, that I decided to pen Cheap Cyborg as a comic, but in film script format. I want a readable more than a produceable project at the end anyway, and this saves me having to nail down each frame as well, which I’m not sure I can do satisfactory while also trying to ring the bell at the top of the 100-page-tower…

So that’s what I’m doing.

And I have notes. Lots of notes. Pages of notes.

Going in roughly all directions.

And no outline. Did I mention that? No outline? Yeah… I have no outline.

I don’t want to call it quits ahead of time. I mean, I’m not a quitter, you know? But… Psh; it’ll be a miracle if I make it to the 100 pages, I can tell you that much up front. A Goddamn miracle.

But I’m not a quitter. Nope.

I won’t make it.

But then that’s what 2008 is all about, so I might as well get too it.

There’s one thing that always brings me back from my late-night fits of self-pity, when I fling glasses of sherry at the wall and wail out: “I’ll never amount to anything, waaaaahhhh. I’ll never be a respected author!... Aaahahaaaaa”, which may also be helpful to you, if you happen to be a Star Wars fan, like me.

Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays. Because, if Star Wars could be born from such crud; well then there is a your favorite author inside us all.


If When all else fails, luckily the plot generator on the Script Frenzy site is a veritable treasure trove of money-in-the-bank ideas:

In a haunted space station orbiting Pluto the oldest park ranger in the Andes attempts to rewrite Finnish history.

Eh… Screw Cheap Cyborg, I’m going with this.

PS: I will of course be following up on Cheap Cyborg here, but you can also follow my progress on Twitter.