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Live-Action Akira

I don’t mean to be an ass about these things, and I really wish I could just sit back and enjoy it when it’s released, but I’m going to tell you up front, just so you know, that the live-action adaptation of Akira will suck, teh balls.

Let’s forget the fact that it is one of the best comics ever written.

Let’s forget the fact that it cannot be adapted properly in full, even for two ‘epic’ movies and that even the animated movie, while interesting, doesn’t make a dent in the manga.

Let’s forget the fact that it breathes post-WWII-Japan, and that replacing ‘Tokyo’ with ‘Manhattan’ for ‘Neo-Manhattan’ is so retarded, not to mention ironic, that I can’t even begin to describe it; and that the film, if it were to be made, could only be made in Japan and still make sense.

(And let’s forget that it will undoubtedly become a post-911 discussion seed… Yeah, like we need more of those).

Let’s forget that Leonardo Dicaprio is 33-years-old playing Kandea, 16-year-old leader of a bike-gang, when he’s not being reprimanded by his gym-teacher…

Let’s forget that it’s a first-time director.

Let’s just forget the whole damn thing.

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